Feb 28, 2011

Loliprompt: Lolita Lifestyle

I stumbled a while ago upon Loliprompts, a brilliant site providing prompts to respond to and to give ideas to all the lolita bloggers out there.  One of these prompts was on a topic that I've been considering for quite a while now.

What is the “Lolita lifestyle”? Is it real or imagined? Does your idea of such a lifestyle differ from the ideas of others? Do you, or would you like to, adhere to this lifestyle?

To be honest, this is something that I've been puzzling over. Because this is obviously something that many people see as a reality and that many people strive to be. That being said, I'm sure it's something that is a reality... but I'm not entirely sure that's a good thing.

But then, don't I fit all the qualifications?

I enjoy tea, so much so that it's a daily ritual to sit and relax with a cup every night. I wear my frills very nearly every day, only wearing jeans on special occasions or when skirts are completely impractical. I enjoy ladylike crafts such as jewelry making and embroidery. I like to surround myself with things that are cute and beautiful and I value manners and modesty. I adore sweets, eating and baking them. I love picnics, especially in fancy settings. One of my favorite places to go in good weather is the zoo, where I stroll around in a pretty dress twirling my parasol. I even write a lolita-themed blog and have a lolita pen-pal. So aren't I a lifestyle lolita?

Yes. I guess. But... no. Yes, I define myself as a lolita, but I do not one of those things because I'm a lolita. With perhaps the exception of the parasol, but even that I bought months before I started really wearing the fashion. While it's true that I acknowledge some fashions are backed by ideals and ways of living - is it odd to say that I don't really consider lolita a sort of lifestyle? To me, lolita fashion is about an expression of the me that was already there. Being a lolita isn't about things I do, but the confidence I have in who I am. I didn't change to fit the fashion, the fashion just happened to fit me. I view the style as an enhancement, so to make an attempt to define any sort of likes/dislikes you must have attached to it would be a lie.

If there is an ideal attached to the fashion I don't think it's to be a pretty pretty princess at all times. So what is a lolita lifestyle, then? If I had to define a code to live by as a lolita, I would say it is simply be joyful. The aesthetic theme of the style is in its details. So should we not, as a group that tries to define itself by our fashion, take the cue directly from our clothing? So take joy in the little things. The texture of the fabric of your skirt, the lines of embroidery, the colors in a favorite print, the way the sun turns clouds pink in the afternoon, the flavors of a well prepared meal, the pride of doing well in a favorite game, the company of a friend or the pleasant peace of being alone. Find joy in everything.

If you are looking to be a lifestyle lolita, don't turn to a checklist and edit you life accordingly. If you love the fashion that much, your passion for it already qualifies you for the title. Don't do things you don't enjoy. Don't stop doing the things you love. If you love paintball fights, go for it. (I'd recommend not wearing frills during this activity, but if that rocks your world...) If you love skateboarding, making salsa, comic books, science, welding, veggie farming, playing video games with persistent gore turned on, tree climbing, whatever it is that isn't a classic girly lolita activity - do what makes you happy. Even all the checklists defining what a proper lolita should be include spoiling yourself, right?


  1. you are right. i can define myself as a lifestyler even before i meet the frills. loli fits me. but i can't say that lolita fashion didn't helped me. some things i started using after i became a loli- but i really enjoy them, being or not loli. confidence is the key word. you only can define yourself lifestyler if you are being yourself in the frills.

  2. It's interesting to see everybody's different opinions. For example, naturally enjoying all the things you say you like are to me the Lolita lifestyle, even though you say you aren't a lifestyle Lolita. It goes to show how futile it is when people start to argue about who's right or wrong about this or that. In the end I agree that people should just do what they like. Great post.

  3. I agree with you completely. I probably liked drinking tea before lolita but I started sewing because of it. But even so, I only sew because it gives me great pleasure to do so. it makes me creative. Not because it is oh so loli. I do things for my self and enjoy them to the fullest. That's what makes lolita worth it for me.
    And yes, spoiling ourselves from time to time is a major lolita characteristic, even though it doesnt always get mentioned.