Today I have a chance to buy my first brand dress, and while I may decide to wait and buy a second dress in a month's time, I have a kind of light headed feeling. Not necessarily because it's brand but because there are two dresses I've been having daydreams about lately. And I may be able to have them outside of dreams now. I felt it before, when I first put in my order for the infanta dress. It's made me pause to consider how very lucky lolitas are. Because I don't imagine there are many that can feel this way about the clothes they put on.
I had expected that over time the feeling would quietly slip away, but I found that it's only grown. Every time I slip on one of my jumperskirts a bit of joy flutters inside. I remember when I hated get ready in the mornings, but I don't anymore. There's a ritual to it now, a specialness. Even on the days when I'm dressing down, a homemade skirt and t-shirt still make me feel beautiful and confident in a way ordinary clothes never could. And putting on a favorite dress - my green dress or the nightingale dress or my embroidered key dress - makes me feel like I'm full of so much happiness there's no way it's not leaking out onto everyone around me. The thought of new dresses, ones I've wanted for ages now, makes me feel my heart is performing a Disney musical with all the sad parts cut out. The thought of wearing those dresses... I don't even know.
I hope this love of the fashion doesn't fade over time. It's a truly wonderful feeling to love something as simple as the way you dress. I'm still not sure exactly what I'll do about ordering the dress(es) but just having the option is such a wonderful feeling.
The possible second dress. Nearly invisible rabbits!