Loliprompt: A Matter of Identity

I apologize for the slightly longer than anticipated delay and for the lack of a normal themed post this week. I feel it would be improper to discuss the tragedy that struck my family early this week on what should be a fun, happy sort of blog, but any prayers aimed towards my aunt, uncle, cousins and extended family at this time would certainly not be unwelcome.

Please forgive me if I find it difficult to make an excited post about pretty things today. Instead, I am going to pull out one of the loliprompts I'd meant to tackle this month.

For those of you who feel that (Gothic &) Lolita plays a big part in who you are, do you feel it is more of a social, outward identity, or a personal, inner one?
For example, is it more important for you to participate in online and in-person communities and keep up with trends, or do you feel it’s more important to do as you like regardless of other Lolitas’ trends, communities, acceptance, etc.?

 For me it is an outward expression of an inward me. That is to say, I like what I like and wear what I wear only for myself. That's not to say that I remain unaffected by trends or that participating in a community isn't important. As with all fashions, trends affect what is and isn't available and spread ideas of new ways to do things. However, I feel that, especially in an alternate fashion such as lolita that is about wearing what makes you happy, following any trend that doesn't appeal to you is a bit ridiculous. On the same note, if a new trend comes along that I like I won't refuse it on the basis of not wishing to follow the crowd.

As far as participating in a community goes, I see lolita as an opportunity. Lolita is a starting point and a reason for people to get together. Especially as I've moved several times recently to different states and different communities, I've found myself leaning on that as a means of connection. However, a fashion is only a gateway to a friendship. Much like seeing someone reading a book you like. It isn't going to make that person your friend unless you are the type of people already compatible as friends and are both willing to put effort into getting to know each other. If you are the kind of person I don't enjoy being around a shared love of frills isn't going to change that. But on the same note, if you are someone I like spending time with I don't care what you wear or even if we have very little in common.

Footnote on lolita not changing a dislike of someone's base personality: I feel that within a community it is always wrong to let personal dislike of another member (for any reason) ever make things difficult or uncomfortable for other members at community functions. Simple politeness, redirection of attention and opting not to see the person in non-meet-up situations is what I am referring to by this remark.